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St. Louis Cardinals: Four Moves That’ll Never Happen

St. Louis Cardinals Jhonny Peralta

Take a deep breath St. Louis Cardinals fans.

For now, your hometown Redbirds are back at .500 after a near sweep of the Toronto Blue Jays.

Despite being the worst defensive team in baseball, anemic on the base paths, and only having two relief pitchers that seem viable right now (Matt Bowman and Trevor Rosenthal), your local baseball team is seeing the light.

While the St. Louis Cardinals are trending up for sure, I couldn’t help but think of some ways the team could steadily improve.

So I drank a few beers, made a list, checked it twice, then passed out on my couch.

Then I woke up.

It’s incredible what one can do under the influence of alcohol. Where my mind was I will never know, but I can tell you that drunk words are sober thoughts.

Here is what I came up with – four moves that the St. Louis Cardinals will never make, but it would be real cool if they did (Matthew McConaughey voice).

Disclaimer – I am not advocating for these moves to happen, but to create a hypothetical argument as to why they should.

Most of you will overreact to this post and think “that RedBird Daily site is nonsensical at best,” but our job is to create discussions amongst the best fans baseball.

With that said, here are my four moves that will never happen for the Cards.

1. Trade Adam Wainwright

Let’s talk about something that would never happen in the history of St. Louis Cardinal baseball, but if you looked at Wainwright, his numbers, and what the team needs right now from a number two starter – you could say it makes sense.

Wainwright is 2-3, with an earned run average of 6.12 and only averaging five innings per start.


Not only that, Wainwright just looks tired, losing crispness on his pitch arsenal (mainly the cutter and curve), and not somebody who is a frontline starter.

Will the Cardinals ever get rid of Wainwright? HELL NO.

Honestly it would probably break my heart a little to see him pitch for someone else.

But with those numbers, some type of rotation reformulating will have to come at some point if he keeps trending downward.

If Wainwright continues to struggle, don’t put it pass the Cardinals to move him back to the pen and go get a starter at some point, especially if the team is in contention.

2. Trade Matt Adams, Jonathon Broxton and Jhonny Peralta for a formidable 3rd/1st baseman and/or another outfielder.

Will this happen individually to one of these players at some point this season? It seems like it’s a race to see who can get off the team first, whether it be trade, outright release or sent down to Memphis.

Probably – hell, Peralta is already dealing with an “illness” and will probably see a “rehab” stint, all three players should probably be suiting up for someone else.

Matt Adams is looking better as of late, mainly because he’s not on the field, and only pitch hitting.

Broxton, well, is just Broxton – part of the bullpen that makes you question your entire life.

I, among many others, want them gone. But honestly who would take this heaping pile of owl s*&%  for a trade?

Probably nobody, but some team could get desperate and want to ditch a player that might be worth something in return for three players who could at least fill a spot on the line up card.

Will the Cardinals ever do this? Hell no, because the likelihood of them getting rid of all three of them for anything decent in return is like a fairy tale.

Keep dreaming.

3. Bring up Adolis Garcia, sit Stephen Piscotty or Randall Grichuk

In case you haven’t been paying attention to the minor league recaps we give out here at the RedBird Daily, that kid the St. Louis Cardinals signed back earlier in the year is kind of raking.

Garcia is hitting .293, including three home runs, and showing off his outfield skills, both in center and in right.

You know who isn’t doing those things?

Grichuk and Piscotty.

Randy is the best looking guy on the team by far, but looks can only get you so far in this world, and while he has done okay (hitting .250, three homers and 11 runs batted in) one has to wonder if these numbers will hover around average all year or he will pick it up.

Piscotty is another story.

Only hitting .215, Stephen could definitely be better. At times he’s a little flawed in the outfield too, probably still dealing with concussion like symptoms after getting abused during one trip around the bases early this season (see below).

Will Garcia ever take over for Grichuk and Piscotty? HELL NO.

Garcia is still young to the major league baseball season, and the Cardinals front office has invested a lot in Grichuk and Piscotty, but if he continues to hit as well as show potential to play all three outfield spots, he could be up before you know it.

4. Fire Mike Matheny

You want it, I want it. WE ALL WANT IT.

His nonsensical decision making with the line up, his overuse of the same bullpen arms (it’s been nice knowing you Matt Bowman), and honestly that smug look on his face just make me want to get rid of him.

He promised us better defense and solid base running this year, and he has failed to deliver. While much of that is on the individual player, it is up to the manager to put his players in places to succeed, and to coach them up.

He hasn’t delivered and his only success has come off the back of Tony La Russa’s “guys.”

We are now seeing what Matheny can do when he has “his team,” and the results are just laughable.

Will the Cardinals ever do it? HELL NO.

I can’t begin to explain why they won’t do it, but Mozeliak and Matheny have some sort of bromance going that extends beyond the realms of logic and time.

Although Mo’ recently put his foot down, Matheny still find a way to snake in there…

Once again…

Most of these moves I know will not happen. Many of you will laugh at this and think, “that guy has a screw loose.”

I am happy the fact the St. Louis Cardinals are heading in the right direction, but you’re naive to think some changes don’t need to be made if this club is going to contend.


Thanks for reading.


For more stories I write while intoxicated, Friday afternoon water cooler discussion, and how to remove lice, follow @TonOfClayton

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